• John McCain Doesn't Necessarily Want Orphans to be Abandoned After All

    Remember a few days ago when John McCain told the New York Times that he "flatly opposed" the idea of gay people adopting children who need homes?

    Turns out some child-caring-for types are up in arms about that and other remarks he made on the topic

    When asked in the interview if he opposed gay adoptions even if the alternative was that the child remain in an orphanage, Mr. McCain — who, with his wife, Cindy, has an adopted daughter — said that he wanted to encourage adoption and make the process easier, but that adoptive parents should be mixed-sex, traditional couples.

    Yes, traditional couples like the straight-ish shooting John McCain and his lovely trollop Cindy. But what this mini-flap really highlights is a bigger problem McCain faces in the endless march to November…

    Mr. McCain has been trying to appeal to the conservative base of the Republican Party without turning off independent and moderate voters. And while he is personally in sync with conservatives on many social issues — he opposes abortion rights and same-sex marriage, for instance — he sometimes appears uncomfortable discussing such issues.

    That is because John McCain has trouble saying the word S-E-X in public.

    In the end, McCain's Director of Communications, Jill Hazelbaker, decided to step in and tell John McCain — and everybody else — what John McCain really thinks

    "McCain's expressed his personal preference for children to be raised by a mother and a father wherever possible. However, as an adoptive father himself, McCain believes children deserve loving and caring home environments, and he recognizes that there are many abandoned children who have yet to find homes. McCain believes that in those situations that caring parental figures are better for the child than the alternative."

    It's a close one, but I guess if the kid was just gonna have a pathetic, traumatic existence in an overcrowded orphanage where he receives no affection and has to endure daily beatings from the older kids and will end up bitter, twisted man with a constant burning sensation inside his skull that can only be quelled by the spilling of blood…

    …then, I suppose it would be better for him to be raised by two gay people. But it's really close.

    Tags: Cindy McCain, John McCain


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.