Sometimes it seems like everything we hear from our politicians fills us with existential despair — and that’s just the Obama campaign. But as I show in my new book Apocalypse How, the hastening end-times shouldn't be grounds for pessimism. Rather, we can choose to look at our soon-to-be-ended-world as half-unfucked, teeming with time, opportunities, and most likely, cockroaches. Protein-rich, delightfully crunchy cockroaches. See? It's all in how you look at it through the jaggedly carved eyehole in your bunker. So take a load off, put a smile on (and ideally, some combination of lead and Kevlar), and enjoy this harbinger of your exciting new life to come:
WHY THAT'S A SIGN: Having exhausted every other possible remedy to undo the Bush legacy, Kucinich is forced to summon his alien friends down to do the job. They begin by wiping out Iraq, New Orleans and Texas.
WHAT TO EXPECT: That last action violates Starfleet's lesser-known Secondary Directive: "No interference with the un-messed state of Texas." A multi-species platoon attacks the original invading aliens, turning the entire Earth into a smoldering galactic battlefield (the first-ever war even Dick Cheney can't get out of).
WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Starfleet reparations totally sweet.
Tags: Rob Kutner, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse