Hey, everybody! It's the most jolliest time of the year! Shark Week on the Discovery Channel! (And no, we're not being sponsored by the Discovery Channel; I'm just an exceptional nerd.)
Back in January, we were all fired up about maybe calling the big primary day Shark Week Tuesday, but then it turned out that if we did that we'd have "legal issues," and we'd all "lose our jobs" and have to go back to "giving handjobs for money," and it was all just too much of a hassle. Who needs it?
But, now that Shark Week is actually upon us (and I have something else to think about besides seeing The Dark Knight for the eighth time), I thought it would be fun to celebrate it on this blog by running a week-long series asking you to see if you can find the difference between two different kinds of shark: the kind that eats surfers and the kind that eats presidential candidates.
a) Named a Woman of the Year by Glamour magazine in 1996.
b) Is extremely territorial, will attack other animals that enter its territory, and is responsible for more human deaths than any other type.
c) Has written that Al Gore "is so feminized and diversified and ecologically correct that he's practically lactating."
d) Has a diet that includes rays, dolphins, turtles, birds, molluscs, echinoderms, crustaceans, and terrestrial mammals such as rats and dogs, and can reach a weight of up to 700 pounds.
e) Has been accused of inserting ellipses to change a quotation's intended meaning.
f) Is found all over the world in many different areas and has been known to travel long distances.
g) Was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for its series of columns on the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
h) Tends to hunt in a pack.
Answers after the jump.
a – Dowd; b – Bull Shark; c – Dowd; d – Bull Shark; e – Dowd; f – Both; g – Dowd; h – Dowd
Tags: Al Gore, Bill Clinton, Maureen Dowd, Monica Lewinsky, New York Times, Shark Week Sharktacular!