• Behind the Velvet Rope

    Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

    Not On The List! Ask any Washington politician what the bedrock of our democracy is, and the answer will always be the same: High-profile fundraisers! How else could these noble public servants finance vicious attack ads accusing their opponents of giving blowjobs to Nicolas Sarkozy?

    But you, dear reader, wouldn't know too much about that, because most fundraisers are off-limits to all but VIPs. Here's a small taste of what you're missing behind closed doors, courtesy of the Pages:

    Event What Happened Why You Weren't Invited
    Stripper Party in honor of Rep. Pete Sessions (R-TX), at Forty Deuce, a notorious Las Vegas strip club.

    Reports vary. We understand it was a "no nudity" event (source: Sessions), featuring "dancers taking their clothes off" (source: club owner Ivan Kane.) You would have blushed at Sessions' insistence that all donations be made in singles, tucked into his G-string.
    Manchester (NH) Republican Committee Machine Gun Shoot.

    For a $25 donation, attendees got to fire off Uzis, M-16s, and AK-47s, presumably at photos of Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Howard Dean. You would have wet your pantsuit at the sight of those guns, Frenchy.
    Soiree for Senate Candidate Al Franken (D-MN) at the Playboy Mansion in Chicago.

    Christie Hefner opened the doors of her home for the fundraiser, which featured readings from Franken's 2000 Playboy article, "Porn-O-Rama." Your porn loyalties lie with Hustler, and you were already booked for Larry Flynt's Dennis Kucinich Fundraiser!

    Tags: Congressional Confidential

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