John McCain to Dick Cheney: "Um, We're Not Having a Convention This Year, So, Like, Don't Waste Your Time Attending or Anything."

Some have reported that Vice President Cheney will not be attending the Republican convention in Minnesota this year, due to John McCain's desire to turn the page on the Bush-Cheney years.

One GOP official told CNN there's a "mutual understanding" between Cheney's office and the McCain camp that he is "unlikely" to attend the convention…

The conservative American Spectator first reported Monday that Cheney, who has low national approval ratings… is not expected to attend the convention.

Some Washington insiders claim that VP Cheny is only one of many entries on Senator McCain's "No-Show Wish List." According to them, in an effort to distance himself from anything that voters find unappealing, Senator McCain has also asked the following not to attend…

* The ravenous cancer attacking the side of his face.

* His 100-year occupation war plan for Iraq.

* Scandal-ridden Republican Senator Ted Stevens.

* The ghost of Jerry Falwell. (If the convention happens on an odd numbered day. If it falls on an even number day, Falwell welcomed as always.)

* This picture.

* And also, this picture.

* Oh, wait. How about this picture?

* Senator John McCain

Tags: Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell, John McCain, Minnesota, Republican National Convention, Ted Stevens