Catching Up With A Loser: Rudy Giuliani

Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

Catching Up With A Loser! The single most important event of George W. Bush's presidency was the terrorist attack of September 11, 2001. And so it seemed obvious that Bush's successor in the White House should be the greatest celebrity to rise from that dark day, the face that graced TV news screens for months afterward, the man who became virtually synonymous with 9/11… Osama bin Laden.

Unfortunately, the Turbaned One was not a U.S. citizen, and therefore ineligible for the presidency. So the task fell to this week's entry in our Presidential Loser Series, Rudy Giuliani (R-NY)!

Giuliani's resume was without equal in the Republican field. Namely, he:

* Happened to be mayor of New York on September 11, 2001.

* Was on TV many times during and after September 11, 2001.

* Ran campaign ads featuring images of firefighters — most of whom apparently hate him — dating from September 11, 2001.

* Tried to illegally extend his term, citing the events of September 11, 2001.

* Dispatched the NYPD to escort his mistress and future third wife, Judith Nathan, on interstate trips, citing the yet-to-occur events of September 11, 2001.

* Earned millions of dollars giving speeches about September 11, 2001.

Giuliani was also the only candidate who could boast he had married his second cousin, a major coup considering one of his opponents was Mitt Romney. Nevertheless, the Mayor's candidacy suffered from feeble support among his core constituency — such as former driver and police chief Bernie Kerik, who skipped the election to ball his mistress/publisher in an apartment intended for 9/11 workers.

Despite leading the Republican field for most of 2007, Giuliani tanked in the primaries, accruing a miserable total of one delegate. Even Ron Paul got 35! The Mayor was forced to drop out of the race on January 30, 2008, much to the relief of squeegee men nationwide.