• Joe Biden is "Not the Guy," and Barack Obama Gets His Gals Confused


    We're running out of time to spread rumors about Barack Obama's veep pick, so let's smear these latest clues across the internet as quickly as possible.

    Obama's making an appearance with his running mate in Springfield, Illinois on Saturday. That much we know. So, um, Joe Biden, where are you going to be on Saturday?

    Biden replied, "Here" and pointed down to his driveway [which is located in Delaware].

    As he pulled out of the driveway in the driver's seat of his car he then said to the press gathered near his gate, "You guys have better things to do. I'm not the guy."

    That certainly sounds like an upfront admission of Biden's non-veepiness, but a) he could be lying, or b) Obama's Springfield advance teams are a cover-up for a major event taking place in Joe Biden's driveway. Assuming c), he's telling the truth… oh my god! Is Obama going to pick Hillary after all? Or another high-ranking woman, like Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas?

    No, because Barack Obama's disdain for women prevents him from keeping his New England colleges straight

    [Obama] used the word "he" to describe his choice rather than the phrase "he or she," which would appear to exclude potential female running mates such as Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York and Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius.

    A senior Obama strategist, Robert Gibbs, said that reporters shouldn't "read anything into" Obama use of the masculine pronoun.

    An earlier comment from Obama, though, also made it seem unlikely that he'd pick Clinton. He told a woman in the town hall audience that he gets Wellesley College, a women's college outside Boston where Clinton was the student commencement speaker in 1969, confused with co-ed Wesleyan University in Connecticut.

    Good goddess! Why does Obama have such scorn for poor Hillary Clinton that he can't remember where she gave her commencement speech?

    For that matter, why can't he remember the commencement speech he gave at Wesleyan three months ago?

    All these hints add up to one logical answer: Evan Bayh really will be Obama's running mate.

    Or, you know, not.


    Tags: Barack Obama, Connecticut, Delaware, Evan Bayh, Hillary Clinton, Illinois, Joe Biden, Kansas, Kathleen Sebelius, Massachusetts, New York, Veepstakes

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