Emancipation, Feminism and Equality Conspire to Put the Kibosh on Rush Limbaugh's Favorite Pastimes

Things haven't been right in Rush Limbaugh's America for a long time. Used to be a man was a man and could pick up a tippler and throttle the presidential ambition out of his wife and uppity young help and nobody'd say nothing.

But how the hell does Joe Multimillionaire White Conservative take his rightful place at the seat of our national government anymore when he's got meddlers like the Democratic Party nagging him day and night to "respect" hippie jumbo like "domestic peace" and "equality under the law"?

"[S]ee, there are Democrats , the drive-bys… are just so upset with these so-called 'ferocious attacks.' These have been benign. Even the Britney Spears/Paris Hilton ad was funny. It was benign…."

"It's — you know, it's just — it's just we can't hit the girl. I don't care how far feminism's saying, you can't hit the girl, and you can't — you can't criticize the little black man-child. You just can't do it, 'cause it's just not right, It's not fair. He's such a victim."

If anyone's a victim here, it's Rush. Tell any big man he can't beat the hell out of the little guy anymore and suddenly there's nowhere else for him to swing that diamond-studded cane except into his own truffle-stuffed face.