Well, we're halfway through one of the two political conventions, and at least one thing's clear: We are only a quarter of the way through convention season. And yet we in the Apocalypse Party have already managed to find encouraging signs that the end is nigh in all the major speeches. For instance, why was Michelle Obama trying so hard to "humanize" herself — is she actually a Cylon? (Though if she is, she's a Democrat so we can assume she does not have a plan.) Did anyone else notice Dennis Kucinich finishing off his barnburner of a speech with a gesture that might have been a landing signal to the UFOs? And as far as Hillary's big speech last night? Let's just say her pantsuit was at "Alert Level: Elevated."
SIGN: Hillary Clinton sends powerful message of unity to Democratic Party.
WHY THAT'S A SIGN: Hillary's message so powerful, it actually unifies the entire party into one giant creature, known as "Demogorgon."
WHAT TO EXPECT: Demogorgon's insatiable lust for arugula and Chardonnay decimates nations, while his need to prove his patriotism with a flag lapel pin wipes out world copper reserves. Lack of new pennies destroys global economy.
WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Demogorgon a shoe-in for White House, thanks to his possessing billions of years of experience.
Tags: Colorado, Democratic National Convention, Denver, Hillary Clinton, Rob Kutner, The Daily Show, This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse