Last night the Democratic Party found it in their ethanol-bleeding hearts to let Melissa Etheridge—who hasn't had a hit since the last Democrat was in office—come up on stage to literally become an "arena rocker" one more time.
And how did Etheridge repay the favor? By pulling a Ronald Reagan.
Etheridge regaled the crowd with a medley of America-themed songs, which included the cringe-worthy choice of "Born In The U.S.A." by Bruce Springsteen—a song that describes shipping troubled youths off to Vietnam and dumping them back in a country that won't accept them. Sample lyrics:
Down in the shadow of the penitentiary
Out by the gas fires of the refinery
I'm ten years down the road
Nowhere to run, ain't got nowhere to go
Born in the U.S.A.
Nice pick, Melissa. Excuse me while my American flag droops like a pre-Viagra Bob Dole.
To be fair, Etheridge chose to skip over those lines and many others, proving that at least she had bothered to read the lyrics– unlike then-president Reagan, who moronically stated…
America's future rests in a thousand dreams inside your hearts. It rests in the message of hope in songs of a man so many young Americans admire — New Jersey's own Bruce Springsteen.
Springsteen responded three days later by dedicating a rendition of "Johnny 99"—about a laid-off worker turned murderer—to Reagan.
Back here at the convention, it remains to be seen whether the Boss will dedicate tonight's set at Invesco Field to Etheridge—who incidentally was pulled off stage before she could develop Alzheimer's disease and bomb Libya.
Tags: Bruce Springsteen, Colorado, Democratic National Convention, Denver, Ronald Reagan