Sarah Palin Might Want To Revisit Abstinence-Only Education

Shockingly, the holy surge of abstinence-only education implemented by the Bush Administration has failed to curtail pregnancies among unwed teenage daughters of Alaska governors running for Vice President.

Although the threat of birth defects is minimal in this demographic, there remains a substantial risk of humiliating a national presidential campaign, having your name brandished across the top of every blog on the internet, and proving that “abstinence only ed” is a fucking joke.

While making light of someone’s unwanted pregnancy shouldn’t be a common practice, the fact that both John McCain and Sarah Palin have promoted abstinence-only education for years opens the floodgates for second-guessing.

Furthermore, the Palin family’s penchant for unusual baby names also opens the Vegas books, as speculators start placing bets on the name of this latest addition.  (Note that Piper, Trig, and Track have already been taken, but, hey, what about Mitt?  It could be a warm gesture to a man Palin beat out for VP!)