Catching Up With a Loser: Mike Gravel

The nation has been buzzing about Alaska's most famous maverick politician all week and, well, we're going to stretch it out one more day… former Senator Mike Gravel (D-AK) is this week's entry in our Presidential Loser Series!

As Americans, we like everything bigger and better than what the other guy has, and Gravel was no exception. Not content to wallow among your garden-variety losers like Tom Vilsack, Jim Gilmore and Hillary Clinton, Gravel eclipsed them with the rare feat of losing two presidential nominations in the same cycle!

Gravel's first loss came as a Democrat. He stood out within the party's field for his knowledge of how to get a prescription for cocaine, but not for his knowledge on how to sneak into a debate. And when the party frontrunners aired standard-issue ads of themselves striding through factories and shaking hands with the entire U.S. Army, Gravel responded with an avant-garde video of himself heaving a rock into a lake — which pundits agree vaulted him over the elusive 240 vote barrier in South Carolina.

Gravel's second defeat was in the Libertarian primary, which came as a surprise to those who hadn't realized he'd quit his Democratic campaign. He got 71 out of 618 votes at the Libertarian Convention, polling fourth behind a research scientist, the self-proclaimed "King of Vegas", and the eventual winner, Bob Barr.

But why should Gravel stop at just losing two nominations? It might not be too late to try to get on the ticket for the Equal Rights Party, or perhaps the Anti-Masonic Party. And what about the Alaskan Independence Party, which we've heard so much about recently… wonder if we could conjure up a feisty fellow Alaskan to serve as VP on that ticket?