• When Government Officials Snorting Speed Off Toaster Ovens is Not the Story

    In the most under-reported story of the week, the Inspector General of the Department of the Interior released several damning reports about the Rock 'n' Roll lifestyle that is the U.S. Minerals Management Service (MMS).

    MMS is in charge of leasing offshore drilling rights for oil and gas. In addition to tales of corporate cronyism and corruption, there are details of coerced sex and drug use that would probably go NC-17 if made into a movie.

    I am making none of this up. It's just buried in an Interior Department Report. If you want to hide something, bury it in a PDF

    "[MMS program director] Smith obtained crystal methamphetamine and she watched him snort it off the toaster oven in her kitchen"

    And another bombshell, in which I attempt to refrain from writing "Drill baby, drill!"…

    Smith then "basically forced [her] head into his lap," and she performed oral sex on him while he drove the car slowly.

    See what happens, America, when we obsess about a certain Alaskan hockey mom who may or may not have prevented an invasion from the ten Russians who live across the Bering Sea in Kamchatka?

    Tags: Scandalgate


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.