• Catching Up With a Loser: Hillary Clinton

    As we approach the end of our months-long Presidential Loser Series, it would appear that we'd finally made it to Hillary Clinton, who dropped out of the race on June 7. But our friends at the John McCain campaign have turned our world on its head with a shocking revelation…

    Hillary Clinton didn't drop out. She is John McCain's running mate!

    That's right, the 18 million people who voted for Hillary in the primary have a chance to do so again — this time on the underside of the John McCain ticket. Don't be concerned that she's changed from pantsuits to skirts and replaced her mullet with a beehive. She is definitely still a woman, and that is all that matters.

    And let's not forget Clinton’s impressive biography:

    * Born: Chicago, IL Sandpoint, ID

    * Educated: Wellesley College, Yale Law School University of Hawaii-Hilo, Hawaii Pacific University, North Idaho College, Matanuska-Susitna College, University of Idaho

    * Spouse: Bill, President of the United States (1993-2001) Todd, snowmobile champion

    * Children: Chelsea Trig, Track, Bristol, Piper, Willow

    * Hobbies: crossword puzzles, gardening shooting wolves out of an airplane

    * Social Views: pro-choice, pro civil unions ban all abortions including cases of rape and incest, "pray away the gay"

    * Opinion on the Bush Doctrine: strongly opposed "In what respect, Charlie?"

    And how about Hillary's grace in accepting McCain's invitation despite him once saying her daughter (now named Piper) was "so ugly" because "her real father is Janet Reno"? Well, that's all in the past, because McCain's is the "change" ticket. Forgive, forget, and drill, baby, drill!

    Tags: Catching Up With a Loser, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Sarah Palin


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