• More Debate, Coming Right Up!

    Details are emerging on the next presidential debate… You know, the one without those silly big-name politicians who no one really cares about anyway.

    So get psyched: it's the third-party presidential debate! It will be held this Sunday. Sure, maybe Obama and McCain won't be there, but plenty of other swell folks will be.

    It will be held in a classroom at Columbia University — an Ivy League venue, which is pretty impressive considering all that those "big guys" could muster was Hofstra. And best of all, it will be broadcast on a famous national network that reaches every cable-subscribing home in America! (C-SPAN.)

    Needless to say, each of the candidates is expected to spend the bulk of his/her time pandering to Joe the Plumber. Here's each of the participants and their strategy…

    * Bob Barr, the Libertarian Party candidate, will promise that Joe will never need to pay taxes again, nor worry about the government intruding on his life by doing things like paving roads and fighting fires.

    * Chuck Baldwin, the Constitution Party candidate, will propose a Constitutional amendment outlawing flag-burning, gay marriage, abortion, the teaching of evolution, and turning down Joe the Plumber when he asks you out on a date.

    * Ralph Nader, the independent candidate, will vow to steal enough votes away from Obama that somehow Joe will become president.

    * Cynthia McKinney, the Green Party candidate, will offer to punch a Capitol Police officer in the face on behalf of Joe.

    Tags: Bob Barr, Chuck Baldwin, Constitution Party, Cynthia McKinney, Green Party, Libertarian, Ralph Nader


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