I Have to Wash My Hair the Night of the Conservatives' Secret Post-Election Strategy Meeting

I'm never one to count my chickens before they hatch, especially when it's entirely possible that the electronic chicken-hatching machines could be rigged, but it's pretty safe to say things do not look well for John McCain at this point.

Add that to the GOP's expected losses in the house and senate on top of losses suffered in 2006, and it's pretty clear the party has some regrouping to do.

It's clear they need to reconnect with a broad spectrum of the American electorate, and there's no better way to do that than with a shadowy and secluded closed-door meeting of a small and select group of conservative bigwigs…

The meeting will be held regardless of the outcome of the presidential race. "This is going on if McCain wins, loses or has a recount — we're not planning for the loss of John McCain."

Either way, Sarah Palin will be a central part of discussion.

If the Arizona senator wins, the discussion will feature much talk of, "How do we work with this administration?" said the attendee, an acknowledgement that conservatives won't always have a reliable ally in the Oval Office.

Under this scenario, Palin would be seen as their conduit to power. "She would be the conservative in the White House," is how the source put it.

Should McCain lose next Tuesday, the conversation will include who to groom as the next generation of conservative leaders -– a list that will feature Palin at or near the top.

Well, it's good to see they're learning their lesson from this election. Clearly, the war hero with a reputation for broad appeal was the single factor that derailed the party's chances this year.

Once they're able to rally around the polarizing incurious former sportscaster with the staggering unfavorability rating and the ability to make Christopher Buckley, Kathleen Parker and Colin Powell vote Democrat, then they'll be back on track to that permanent majority.