It DO Mean a Thing!: Swing State Profiles – West Virginia

As we push toward November 4, it's time to focus on our nation's Swing States (i.e. the ones who will pick a president for the rest of us based on whoever's negative ad they saw last.) So tough toodles, Texas. Nous sommes désolés, Massachusetts. Let's investigate a state that matters for a change…

West Virginia's Key Players

* John Brown: His 1859 abolitionist raid on Harper's Ferry set a course to the day that a young black Senator named Barack Obama could be criticized for eating arugula.

* Former WVU football coach Rich Rodriguez: As the hands-down most hated man in the state, he has the ability to destroy either candidate with a single endorsement.

* Sen. Jay Rockefeller: If that name sounds familiar, well, it is. Rockefeller's uncle is — get ready to slap your forehead — the man who directly preceded Malcolm Wilson as governor of New York.

Obama's Constituency

* Ku Klux Klansmen moved by Sen. Robert Byrd's recent endorsement.

* The nation's highest concentration of toothless people, who have reason to come around on socialist dental care.

* Gay Jews.

McCain's Constituency

* Coal miners making over $250,000 per year.

* Single-issue voters who only want the candidates' positions on eliminating varmints.

* Libertarians who are proud that local government has finally stopped regulating the state's roadkill eaters.

Predicted Winner: McCain
Obama lost the state's primary to Hillary Clinton by 41 percentage points. And in the time since that contest, he has become a socialist, joined Paris Hilton's entourage and gay married Bill Ayers. The odds are stacked against him.

Check out more Swing State Profiles here!

Tags: Barack Obama, It DO Mean a Thing, John McCain, West Virginia