As we push toward November 4, it's time to focus on our nation's Swing States (i.e. the ones who will pick a president for the rest of us based on whoever's negative ad they saw last.) So tough toodles, Texas. Nous sommes désolés, Massachusetts. Let's investigate a state that matters for a change…
West Virginia's Key Players
* Former WVU football coach Rich Rodriguez: As the hands-down most hated man in the state, he has the ability to destroy either candidate with a single endorsement.
* Sen. Jay Rockefeller: If that name sounds familiar, well, it is. Rockefeller's uncle is — get ready to slap your forehead — the man who directly preceded Malcolm Wilson as governor of New York.
* Ku Klux Klansmen moved by Sen. Robert Byrd's recent endorsement.
* The nation's highest concentration of toothless people, who have reason to come around on socialist dental care.
* Gay Jews.
* Coal miners making over $250,000 per year.
* Single-issue voters who only want the candidates' positions on eliminating varmints.
* Libertarians who are proud that local government has finally stopped regulating the state's roadkill eaters.
Predicted Winner: McCain
Obama lost the state's primary to Hillary Clinton by 41 percentage points. And in the time since that contest, he has become a socialist, joined Paris Hilton's entourage and gay married Bill Ayers. The odds are stacked against him.
Check out more Swing State Profiles here!
Tags: Barack Obama, It DO Mean a Thing, John McCain, West Virginia