The Most Ridiculous Onion Story Ever

I know The Onion is supposed to be silly, but this 1993 story is just the most unbelievably bonkers thing ever. I mean, even in the wildest alternate universe, this is just too absurd. All comedy requires at least some kernel of reality to be funny, and simply nothing like this could ever possibly happen…

They've come a long way since those days, when they very clearly had their heads up their asses.

Have I beaten my sarcastic point to death yet?

(via Digg)