Ghosts of Obama's Past Haunt Today's Ballot

When Barack Obama gazed at his ballot this morning, he saw two prominent names from his past.  One was a reminder of victory, the other a reminder to get his ears trimmed before they get unruly.

On Obama's congressional ballot: Rep. Bobby Rush, an 8-term Congressman who beat Obama in the 2000 Democratic primary.

Despite Obama's youthful charisma, voters preferred Rush on the key campaign issues of:

* Black Panther membership.

* Horniest children.

* Largest ears (a criterion Obama vowed to never lose again).

And on Obama's presidential ballot: Alan Keyes, a former ambassador whom Obama defeated for the U.S. Senate in 2004.

Keyes has a natural constituency consisting of:

* African-Americans who smell an opportunity to put one of their own in the White House.

* Christian Falangists, who endorsed Keyes on their terrifying website.

* Guinness Book of Records purists, who want to deny Keyes' bid for most elections lost in a single year.

A lot has changed since Obama faced these two men.  Rush has coalesced with him and endorsed his presidential bid early on.  Voters will reward him with a free pass to Congress.

Keyes, on the other hand, called Obama "evil" and "against God," which isn't going to help him win swing votes, although it might land him post-election work as a speechwriter for Joe the Plumber.

Tags: Alan Keyes, Barack Obama, Bobby Rush, Illinois