If We Give You $50 and a Fun Size Snickers Bar, Will You Please Go Back to Sleep, Penn State?

Political engagement on campus is supposed to be about Jager bombing the election returns. It's supposed to be about napping through a College Democrats meeting. It's supposed to be about not wanting to get tased, then getting tased anyway:

But these days, apparently, it's about lining up to vote 1000-deep at 6 a.m. before the polls open on Election Day:

With all the inspiring shit young people are up to these days, how can we possibly expect them to take our criticism of their haircuts seriously anymore?