11:15p: Just got off the phone with Harlan Ellison. After a stream of un-printable, joyous profanity, he said:
"Today is the day America ransoms itself from durance vile."
Look it up. It's wildly appropriate.
11:11p: FOX News just got officially funnier than Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert.
11:09p: Just got off the phone with my dad. He was an election official in my hometown. Went to work at 4:30 this morning and got home 10 minutes ago. There was a three hour delay when they opened 'cuz there were too many people waiting to vote.
11:04p: Aaaaaaaand SCENE!
11:02p: FUCK YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11:01p: Here we go. Big polls closing. Fingers crossed…
10:59p: William Bennett just said "(Obama being elected) happened in George Bush's America." He's right. George Bush burned the country to the fucking ground, so we finally went for the calm, smart guy.
10:56: William Bennett can go fuck himself. Seriously.
10:49p: Wait…CNN has holograms? What the fuck?
What have I been saying about Barack Obama — if he gets elected, he'll bring us crazy new technology. Well, guess what? STAR WARS technology on
10:43p: YES! Yes! YES! FUCK YES! Virginia just went to Obama! My home state! Way to go, Virginians!
Tags: Liveblog, Patton Oswalt