The First Exit Poll Is In!

Now, you may have read about the big networks' joint decision to quarantine all exit polls until 5 PM Eastern Time. And you may have read about the McCain campaign's advice to disregard any and all exit polls you may see, because they are inherently biased against Real Americans.

Well, don't fear, because we here at Indecision2008.com have been out on the streets conducting our own highly scientific exit polling, and we don't need to abide by any silly regulations handed down by the bigwigs! Here are the results of our poll, broken down by demographics:

Men: 100% for Obama, 0% for McCain

Women: Sample size too small.

Ages 18-35: 100% for Obama, 0% for McCain

Ages 35+: Sample size too small.

Caucasians: 100% for Obama, 0% for McCain

All other ethnicities: Sample size too small.

Writers for comedy websites: 100% for Obama, 0% for McCain

All other occupations: Sample size too small.

100% of voters also thought that the state of the economy was poor and after voting resolved to immediately go make themselves a cup of coffee.

We would offer to update these numbers throughout the day, but there really wouldn't be any point because our sample has decided to stick to the law and only vote once.