Vote or Die of Free Stuff Deficiency

Election Day provides corporations large and small a great opportunity to turn civic responsibility into civic responsibadveritizing.

Here's a list of free stuff you can get if you vote today:

- Free Krispy Kreme donuts.

- Free Starbucks coffee.

- Free Ben and Jerry's.

- Free vibrator or "Maverick sleeve" at Babeland.

- Free Chick-fil-A at Chick-fil-A in Tampa.

- Discounted body piercings in Kirksville, MO.

Are we missing anything?