• Robert Byrd Scandalously Replaced By a Man 8/9ths His Age

    Talk about ageism! Discriminatory Senators apparently decided that West Virginia Democrat Robert C. Byrd was simply too old for his post as Chairman of the powerful Appropriations Committee. So they forced him out and replaced him with a much younger man.

    Who's only 84!

    Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.), 90, the longest-serving senator in U.S. history, announced yesterday that he is stepping down as chairman of the Appropriations Committee, one of the most powerful panels on Capitol Hill.

    Byrd, whose penchant for steering billions of dollars to his state made him a legend at home and in the Senate, will relinquish his gavel under pressure from Democratic leaders who believe he has become too frail to continue in such an important job.

    Sen. Daniel K. Inouye (D-Hawaii), 84, the second-ranking Democrat on the panel for decades, is expected to succeed Byrd as chairman.

    This whippersnapper Inouye may think that he is the bee's knees, but he needs to learn some respect for his elders. That young hotshot probably doesn't even remember the Coolidge Administration!

    Now, Byrd may have resigned by choice. But the pederast Democratic leadership certainly backed him into a corner with unhelpful accusations that…

    * He sleeps through Senate proceedings, even when the leader is speaking.

    * His now frequent religious outbursts are way archaic; today's hip young Senators are all about praise metal.

    * He's developed a nasty recurring habit of nearly dying.

    Well hopefully the Senate knows what they're getting themselves into. Just remember that back when Daniel Inouye was still in diapers, Robert Byrd was valiantly serving his country as a kindergarten student.

    Fortunately for West Virginians who are concerned that Byrd's name doesn't grace enough public works, the nine-term Senator will keep his seat on the Appropriations Committee, even if he's not the chairman anymore.

    And fortunately for Americans who voted against John McCain last week because they thought he was far too young for the presidency, Byrd will continue to serve as President Pro Tempore of the Senate, putting him fourth in line for the Oval Office!


    Tags: Robert Byrd, Senate, West Virginia

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