• Wouldn't It Be Loverly? Joe Biden Arrives in Washington at Last

    After years of drudgery in a Scranton-shaped hovel, vice president-elect Joe Biden is finally getting a chance to mingle with proper society in Washington, DC.

    What's that? You think Joe Biden already knows the Beltway party circuit, thanks to his decades in the Senate?

    Au contraire (that's French for "malarkey"): Joe Biden never did any hobnobbing with Washington's upper class, because he was just a train hobo with a colorful Cockney accent…

    [Ted] Kaufman, who has been a close Biden friend since the 1970s, said Mr. Biden was damaged politically by his absence on the social scene.

    "He did not participate in it," Mr. Kaufman said. "To be honest, it was a real hindrance, because when he ran for president in '87, people didn't know him. You could probably count on two hands the number of embassy functions he went to."

    Ho ho! For heaven's sakes, you can't expect an urchin from the muddy streets of Delaware to feel comfortable at an embassy function — And rumor has it Joe Biden once ate Ossetra caviar with the Sevruga spoon, right in front of everybody.

    He's so deliciously low, so horribly dirty!

    Tags: Delaware, Joe Biden, Washington DC


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