On November 4th, America sent a clear message to Washington and the world. And that message was: "We want a brown guy."
Hey, don't you worry. Because the Republican Party has heard that message loud and clear. No, no, no. Don't even bother trying to clarify yourself, America. The GOP is all over that shit. You want want change. And by "change," you obviously meant a dude with a lot of melanin in his skin. Believe you me, your message is received and processed. Word to your mother.
And, so, please allow the Grand Old Party to present to you… Bobby Jindal…
Last weekend, 18 days after Barack Obama decisively defeated their candidate for president, a mostly Republican crowd of self-described conservatives received their first introduction to someone many prominent members of the GOP think could be the party's own version of Obama.
Like the president-elect, Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana is young (37), accomplished (a Rhodes scholar) and, as the son of Indian immigrants, someone familiar with breaking racial and cultural barriers. He came to Iowa to deliver a pair of speeches, and his mere presence ignited talk that the 2012 presidential campaign has begun here, if coyly.
Oh my god, what a perfect candidate! He's everything that America is looking for in a president. He's got a mocha-colored complexion. He's young. And — best of all — he's got a funny name. Because that's what you want, America! That's exactly what you've been all excited about these past two years! And the GOP is listening.
Granted, they got a little confused there for a while when they thought what you wanted in a candidate was a person who has breasts and wears high heels. That was an honest mistake. Don't hold that against them. But they are back on track now, preparing to carry out the will of the people.
Before you know it, they'll have their own brown person in the White House making certain that all average normal Americans adhere to a rigorous set of socially conservative rules that benefit a small and non-existent portion of the country.
Tags: Bobby Jindal, Iowa, Louisiana