• But Will the U.N. Protect Us from Giant Gorillas, Rolling Barrels?

    As you've no doubt read in this not altogether engaging article from the New York Times, it seems that Barack Obama will be elevating the power of the Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice…

    To reinforce his intention to work more closely with the United Nations after the tensions of President Bush's tenure, Mr. Obama plans to restore the ambassador's post to cabinet rank, as it was under President Bill Clinton, according to Democrats close to the transition.

    And I gotta say that I am fully on board with this decision. Because now is not the time for the United States to take a sideline seat as global policy is decided all around us. We need to be in there, contributing to the conversation. Because now, more than ever, the world's nations need to be united so that we can hopefully defeat our biggest common enemy.

    I speak, of course, of gigantic rocks falling from the sky

    The UN's leading asteroid scientist–

    Stop! What? The United Nations has a leading asteroid scient–

    Stop! What? The United Nations has an asteroid scientist?

    …says the international community must prepare to act to prevent asteroids colliding with the Earth–

    Stop! Oh, wait, no. Please, go. I don't want that to happen. Really. Sorry for the interruption.

    In the ASE report, the group of scientists and former astronauts… say the next major threatening event could occur in less than 20 years. Asteroid Apophis is due to pass close to the Earth and analyses suggest a one in 45,000 chance of a collision.

    An impact by Apophis would generate the equivalent of a 500 megatonne blast–

    Stop! I mean, Stop! That! Asteroid!

    Seriously. 45,000 to one might seem like long odds, that's also about equal to Sarah Palin's chances of winning the presidency in 2012.

    But when you put it in those terms, they don't quite seem long enough, do they?


    Tags: Barack Obama, Susan Rice, United Nations

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.