Barack Obama's Inaugural Ball Should Probably Be Potluck

A lot of people are excited about Barack Obama becoming President, but with so many Americans hurting in these tough economic times, it seems prudent to try to temper that excitement a little. Which is why The New York Times this morning asked, How Lavish Should the Inauguration Be?

My answer: Better safe than sorry. With that in mind, here are a few guidelines to keep in mind if you're planning to attend the big event:

Acceptable Transportation

*American-made car

*Crawl

*Boxcar

Unacceptable Transportation

*Foreign-made private jet

*Unicorn-drawn limousine

*An orphan's back

Acceptable Attire

*Coveralls

*Overalls

*Veralls

Unacceptable Attire

*Monocle made of burning hundred-dollar bills

*Toyota Rav4

*An orphan's back

Acceptable Dining

*Gruel

*Leftover gruel

*2010 Chevy Cobalt

Unacceptable Dining

*Cloned-pterodactyl-liver foie gras

*Candied TARP checks

*An ophan's back