• Rudy Giuliani Wants to Be America's Next Top Bill O'Reilly

    Okay, so Bill O'Reilly is quitting his radio show on which he acts like a dick for three hours and glorifies his own heroism as "culture warrior" to concentrate on being a super humongous dick for one hour on his Fox News show. And good for him. The world needs dicks, and it'll be nice to have some dickosity concentrated at such levels.

    But, how do you replace a guy like Bill O'Reilly? Even if you were legally allowed to throw a rabid orangutan in a sound booth for a few hours a day, I still don't think you'd manage to approximate quite the same world view. So, what do you do?

    Well, as luck would have it, it appears that former New York City mayor and pathetic presidential nominee Rudy Giuliani thinks he can do an even better job than that deranged primate. And way better then the orangutan…

    Westwood One, which syndicates the O'Reilly show, is negotiating with the former mayor. Giuliani, who doesn't suffer fools gladly, famously ridiculed a ferret owner on the radio in 1999, calling him "deranged."

    Some wonder if Rudy could sit for three hours a day chitchatting about politics.

    Seriously, I mean, how much time would he really be able to eat up everyday glorifying his own heroism as a speechmaker on September 11th?

    Like two, two-and-a-half hours tops?

    Tags: 9/11, Bill O'Reilly, Fox, Rudy Giuliani


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