• George W. Bush Hails Environmental Hero George W. Bush

    Hey everybody, happy April Fool's Day. Here's a little prank, courtesy of Fox News, to get us started on this festive day of tomfoolery…

    President Bush felt the warm embrace of environmentalists Tuesday as he announced the largest marine conservation effort in history — the designation of three remote Pacific island chains as national monuments.

    Some went so far as to compare Bush to Teddy Roosevelt, who created the national park system a century ago.

    "This administration has done more for the environment and addressing climate change than any other in history," Kristen Hellmer, a spokeswoman for the Executive Office of the President Council on Environmental Quality, said in a written statement.

    Whoops, that's right, it's not April Fool's Day at all. I almost had me convinced there for a minute!

    Well anyway, here is the unfooling truth: After eight years of wanton disregard for the environment, President Bush just decided not to sell/drill/dump crap in three far-flung chunks of the Pacific, because there is only so much destruction one man can stomach before he retires, and for this lofty accomplishment his own office was inspired to choke out a whale-sized whopper in the form of a "written statement."

    And I am willing to bet you three dozen coconuts that statement was written on the dried skin of a baby sea otter, using a mixture of eagle blood and oil for ink.

    Tags: Environment, Fox, George W. Bush


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.