* The Swamp Creature of Congress is back! (And, no, I'm not talking about Denny Hastert.)
* New scientific study on looks into Sarah Palin's popularity with many voters.
* Looks like the incoming president's gonna need to find a new place to torture political dissidents. I suggest Trenton, NJ.
* Obama possibly taking this whole Lincoln-emulation thing a bit far.
* Al Franken asks Minnesota governor for senate seat. Governor says, "Go fish."
* Roland Burris is probably almost certainly maybe for sure gonna be a senator.
* What's the only thing that could possibly make The View any better? Can't think of anything? How about Ann Coulter?
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Al Franken, Ann Coulter, Barack Obama, Guantanamo Bay, House of Representatives, Minnesota, Pork Barrel, Roland Burris, Science & Technology, Senate, The Onion, The View, Tim Pawlenty