• Some Black Dude Sworn in as President, Country Falls Under Military Dictatorship Apparently

    Over the weekend, the unthinkable has occurred. A military coup!

    Some guy — after having cleverly disguised as the president-elect by hanging a sign bearing the legend "Pres.-Elect Obama" — managed to sneak in under the wire and become the first black person sworn-in as president more than a week before Barack Obama was scheduled to be sworn-in for real…

    Someone who looked a little bit like Barack Obama was sworn in as the nation's 44th president at the United States Capitol. The tall black male delivered a brief inaugural address and then headlined an inaugural parade that ended at his new home, the White House.

    In fact, it was not really Barack Obama. It was only a stand-in — Staff Sgt. Derrick Brooks of the Army — who played the incoming president in an inaugural rehearsal that took over large areas around the Capitol and the White House for a few hours. The spectacle felt both momentous and kind of weird.

    Still, from a distance, it had the look and feel of the real thing: amplified speeches and announcements could be heard several blocks away, honor guards and color guards and processions of dignitaries (or stand-ins thereof) assembled along the western end of the Capitol. The (actual) Marine Band showed up to play "Hail to the Chief" to honor the (fake) new president.

    Our new President Staff Sgt. Derrick Brooks did skimp on a single detail. He even got Naval Petty Officer First Class LaSean McCray to pose as Michelle Obama and two young ladies to to counterfeit themselves as Sasha and Malia.

    I imagine that a lot of people are gonna be disappointed at this gross miscarriage of democracy. I, however am just glad it's a black guy. It's about time.

    The real question that I think should be on Americans minds right now is: What kind of dog do you think our new dictator Brooks will get for his fake children?

    Tags: Barack Obama, Inauguration, Malia Obama, Michelle Obama, Sasha Obama


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