• Obam-Ailments to Watch Out For: Yes We Cancer

    Yes We Cancer (ˈyes ˈwē ˈkan(t)-sər)

    Yes We Cancer is a type of disease in which one's body can becomes so rampant with positive feelings, it can no longer process realistic assumptions.

    The disease has until recently been kept at bay by an immunity brought upon by years of failure of the U.S.'s Democratic Party. However, following the DNC's recent return to moderate relevancy, Yes We Cancer has re-emerged and has begun spreading throughout most of the continental United States, with the exception of certain areas of the South, Midwest and Appalachians, where a widespread chronic cases of Drillbabydrillitis serve to counteract Yes We Cancer's effects.

    Once a victim has stopped chanting "Yes We Can!" in favor of "Yes We Did!" the disease will have completely taken hold of the brain. At that point, not even Rick Warren's upcoming speech can deter the blinding levels of optimism.

    Victims of the disease should remain mostly functional for all intents and purposes, but will most likely be unable to take part in meaningful conversation for the next four-to-eight years. Fortunately for victims who work in political punditry, most cable news channels do not discriminate against people with political-related brain disorders.

    Tags: Barack Obama, Obam-Ailments


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