4:29 – If you missed this spectacular event, you can catch it at later at 7 and 11:30 for free on HBO.
4:27 – Well, that wasn't the shittiest thing I ever watched. I've also seen the Emmys.
4:25 – This makes me really proud to be an American… who wasn't talked into going and standing in the cold for this nonsense.
4:22 – Who's this now? Mary J. Blige?
4:21 – I'm sorry, but this song reminds me more of being trapped with a bunch of people I hate on camping trips I was forced into than it does about American freedom.
4:20 – Pete Seeger isn't just doing a gesture when he puts his hands to his ear. he really can't hear shit. – GC
4:19 – I wonder if George Lucas is really in the audience, or if he had himself digitally implanted.
4:17 – Bruce Springsteen is back. And he's with some old man. They're singing a song they taught me in kindergarten.
4:16 – Barack Obama sounds inspiring and all, but I keep getting scared that Garth Brooks is gonna come out and do a duet with him.
4:14 – Lincoln looks a little stunned to be on TV.
4:11 – Obama! Oh, I hope he sings "Signed, Sealed Delivered"!
4:10 – I hope they give those eagles extra carrion tonight. – Mary Phillips-Sandy
4:09 – The symbol of America: eagles that are chained down and unable to fly.
4:09 – That eagle didn't even juggle or antyhing! What the fuck was that? – GC
4:08 – What shitty song is this eagle going to sing?
4:07 – Argh! The Eagles are down 14-6. There's nowhere to turn!
4:06 – Bono had to sit down — The weight of his own ego was tiring his legs. – GC
4:05 – From the comments: "This concert is too painful to listen to. Lame-a-palooza. I voted for Obama so we wouldn't have to listen to this kind of crap." – Kevbo
4:04 – Why does U2 get two songs, but Stevie Wonder had to share one song with two untalented people? That's not fair!
4:03 – I think it's a play, Gonzalo. A Danish play.
4:03 - "Every village. Every hamlet." What the fuck is a hamlet? – GC
4:02 – I highly doubt that Bono singing at the Lincoln Monument is any kind of Palestinian dream.
4:01 – Or at least go back to 1988 when you didn't suck.
4:00 – "Let freedom ring." You aren't even American, you assholes. We all hate you. Go back to England or Australia or wherever you're from. – GC
3:58 – Alright. I can't very well make fun of Martin Luther King. But I can make fun of Bono, thankfully. He would probably have sent the IRA after Obama if he weren't invited to sing at this for no good reason.
3:56 – Okay, so they got Samuel L. Jackson. He's almost like Morgan Freeman. We're getting closer.
3:55 – Why did Garth Brooks get five songs and Stevie Wonder got 0.5?
3:54 – This is seriously one of the first enjoyable parts of the concert. He better get a few songs.
3:53 – Finally! Thank you, whoever, for letting Stevie Wonder sing.
3:52 - Has Stevie Wonder also lost the ability to sing now? Why isn't he performing his own song? – GC
3:51 – No! Stevie Wonder, not Shakira!
3:50 – Usher? That's better be Stevie Wonder behind him.
3:48 – Seriously! Why do any of us care at all what Ashley Judd or Forest Whitaker have to say about this?
3:47 – I didn't think that was ever going to end.
3:46 – Why does Garth Brooks get to sing so many songs?! Is this another concession like Rick Warren?
3:44 – I guess this puts an end to any fantasies about an Obama presidency being a good thing.
3:43 – Oh Christ, no! Not Shout! Please, somebody drop a dirty bomb or something. Put this to an end!
3:41 – Oh my god! This is so painful. And watching 20-year-old white kids waving their hands in the sky doesn't help it any.
3:40 – They asked Garth Brooks to sing American Pie? Jesus! I might have to go watch the Eagles lose. That'd be less painful. (Seriously, I thought Barack Obama was gonna do away with torture as a policy.)
3:39 – Jack Black borrowed his brother's suit it seems for this gig. – GC
3:38 – Jack Black and Rosario Dawson, eh? I guess that's better than the glee club.
3:37 – Fuck! I changed the channel just in time to see McNabb throw an interception. Okay, okay. I guess I prefer the glee club.
3:35 – Ugh! The less said about this Naval Academy Glee Club the better. I think it might be time to check on the Eagles-Cardinals game.
3:34 – What exactly is Tiger Woods doing here anyway? I mean, what place does a wildly-popular half-black guy with a funny name have on that stage?
3:33 – Tiger Woods has got to be the only professional golfer in the world who can get that kind of applause.
3:31 - I remember seeing will.i.am at a concert when he was performing with the Black Eye Peas a bunch of years ago. When they were finished, they were walking around and nobody cared about them at all. What's my point? I don't really have one.
3:30 - Too bad Sheryl Crow isn't, though.
3:29 - Thank God will.i.am isn't a hologram this time. – GC
3:27 - I think Sasha's got a little crush on Kal Penn. She just snapped a pic. Or she is into George Lopez. Either one. – GC
3:26 – Kumar and that guy from the George Lopez Show! It must be time for brown people to talk.
3:26 – Come on! Barack Obama can't seriously be enjoying this, right? Even he's gotta be like, "When is this shit gonna be over?"
3:24 – Are they comparing that woman to Josh Groban? And why is their choir all dressed as Joe Biden? – GC
3:23 – Okay, I know I'm not cool. But I'm also pretty fucking sure that Josh Groban isn't cool either. Who the shit is Josh Groban?
3:21 – Queen Latifah? But this is a democracy! I protest!
3:20 – Look at those white people dance!
3:19 – Look! John Cougar's even got his own smaller-scale version of Springsteen's choir. Fitting, huh?
3:17 – John Cougar? Pink Houses? Jesus. They dragging out every even vaguely working-class-sounding American song. How much you wanna bet we're gonna hear the WWF's version of Land of a Thousand Dances song before this is over?
3:16 - Joe Biden sounds crazy! He's like the crazy man on the train to Scranton that freaks you out. Or wherever the hell he took that fucking Amtrak. – GC
3:15 – You got the job, Joe. You can stop campaigning now.
3:13 – Joe Biden's speaking? How'd he get this gig?
3:11 – Do you think anybody told James Taylor this was gonna be broadcast across the country? He probably would have dressed up a little, you'd think.
3:10 – Is that Dana Perino singing on the far left?
3:09 – Hey, look! Some body reanimated the corpse of James Taylor! Cool!
3:08 - I hear Marissa Tomei has done a lot of loving of her countrymen. – GC
3:07 – Marissa Tomei is talking about something or other. Bleh. Wake me up when they give away the award for Best Cinematography.
3:06 – What the fuck is this, the Academy Awards?
3:05 – Hey music. The Overly Importance store just called. It's says you should chill out a little.
3:03 – Tom Hanks just said, speaking about Abraham Lincoln, "When he stood erect…" I don't think we need to get into that kind of stuff at an event like this.
3:02 – This show is so boring, my friend just said they are hoping for a commercial to provide a little moment of entertainment. – Gonzalo Cordova
3:00 – I was really hoping that Tom Hanks was gonna come out as Forrest Gump. Or the bearded guy from Castaway.
Oh, it would be great if he'd have come out as transvestite from Busom Buddies. That would have made the LGBT people happy, I'll bet.
2:57 – I don't know who Bettye LaVette is, so I don't know how to make fun of her. Luckily, Jon Bon Jovi just showed up to ruin the song and give me something to write about.
Jon Bon Jovi is from my native New Jersey. It's not easy for me to acknowledge that.
2:56 – Jamie Foxx is doing the worst yet Barack Obama imersonation I've heard. You'd think he'd have taken a few minutes to practice it.
2:55 – Chi-Town stand up!
2:53 – Okay, I can see why Jamie Foxx is speaking. Because somebody thought he really was Ray Charles with those sunglasses. But why Steve Carell? Because he played a congressman in Evan Almighty?
2:51 – Is this Beonce? I'm not up on my cookie-cutter R&B black singer ladies.
2:50 – Oh no! What shitty singer is this?
2:49 – Why is this JFK footage in sepiatone? He didn't give that speak during the Civil War, did he?
2:48 – MLK III does kind of look like three MLKs stuck together, doesn't he?
2:46 – What the hell do Laura Linney and Martin Luther King, III have to do with one another? How did they get stuck standing next to each other. You just know that each one of them, after they heard who they were presenting with, said, "Who?!"
2:44 – Everything I know Abraham Lincoln leads me to believe that he would have hated this song. I'm pretty sure he was much more a fan of "The Wild, The Innocent and the E Street Shuffle."
2:41 – Oh, nice. They somehow managed to coax that rabid Republican singer Bruce Springsteen to sing one of the songs of his that no one cares about. But he's got a choir singing behind him, so that makes it meaningful and humanistic, I think.
2:38 - Denzel Washington — the fourth most respected black man in America — is the first person speaking. Morgan Freeman has got to be on the line-up somewhere.
2:35 - So, that weird "We Are One" celebration thing (whatever it is) is underway at the Lincoln Monument. They're giving the National Anthem as I write this.
They're apparently showing it for free on HBO even if you don't have HBO. (I'm hoping some sexy vampires or New Zealand folk singers show up.) You can also here it streaming live on NPR.
Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Inauguration, Joe Biden, Michelle Obama, Washington DC