From the Pork Barrel: More Ball Tending Than an Ivy League Frat House

* Barack Obama never did make it to this inaugural ball. Despite the higher level of intelligence than you'd find at most political functions.

* Somehow, I don't think he'll be making an appearance at this one either. Despite the higher class of people than you'd find at most political functions.

* Barack Obama to be sworn in alongside 500 body doubles… Just in case.

* The Palin family don't take kindly to white trash, ya know?

* Cindy McCain fields tough questions in her hardest interview to date.

* It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Again.

Tags: Barack Obama, Barbara Bush, Bristol Palin, Cindy McCain, George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Inauguration, Levi Johnston, Meghan McCain, Pork Barrel, Sarah Palin, The Onion, Tripp Johnston-Palin