• Some Lady Chosen to Replace Hillary Clinton in the Senate


    Believe it or not, New York Governor David Paterson seems to have actually made a decision on the empty senate seat for New York.

    I know! It seems crazy. I mean, the man has only had several months and a small roomful of advisers with which to make the choice. It kind of baffles the mind to imagine that anybody can make a single decision under those circumstances…

    Gov. David A. Paterson has selected Representative Kirsten Gillibrand, a 42-year-old congresswoman from upstate who is known for bold political moves and centrist policy positions, to fill the United States Senate seat vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton, according to a person who spoke to the governor early Friday.

    The governor will announce his selection at noon in Albany. An aide to Ms. Gillibrand confirmed that she had accepted the appointment.

    I looked her up, and Kirsten Gillibrand does appear to be an actual person who actually currently holds a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. I have not yet been able to determine which former U.S. President she's related to. But I'll keep at it.

    So, when exactly did Patterson, "never had any intention of picking [Caroline] Kennedy," make this important decision? Must have been at least a week ago, Right? Back when he promised us a decision right after inauguration. (I'm not sure, but I think that blind people can't see time. So, today still counts as right after the inauguration.)

    Well, no…

    Mr. Paterson made his final decision shortly before 2 a.m. Friday after a marathon series of phone calls and deliberations with his top aides, according to the person who spoke to him. He began making phone calls to other contenders about 9 p.m., and had notified most of the other contenders by midnight. By then, the only two candidates who had not heard from Mr. Paterson were Ms. Gillibrand and Randi Weingarten, the president of the United Federation of Teachers.

    That's how I like my senators chosen. The same way I like my Sophomore year philosophy papers written. At the last conceivable second.

    Update: According to the Huffington Post (which I'm just noticing posted its article on Gillibrand last night at 8:16 pm), Paterson chose Gillibrand last Friday night, which of course leads to the inevitable question: What the fuck? Why did he wait a full week before telling us and having her get to work? Is this not, like, an important thing? ("Oh, yeah, my choice for senator. I'll get around to telling people about that eventually.")

    This would also mean that when, on Wednesday, Caroline Kennedy "dropped out" of consideration for the empty seat, she had already been informed that she was no longer under consideration for the empty seat.

    That's sort of like the Philadelphia Eagles dropping out of competition for the Super Bowl today, nearly a week after having been beaten by the Arizona Cardinals. (On a related note: No, I'm not at all upset about the Eagles not going to the Super Bowl. They didn't even want to go. That's why they just dropped out of competition today.)

    (photo via New York Times)


    Tags: Caroline Kennedy, David Paterson, Hillary Clinton, House of Representatives, Kirsten Gillibrand, New York, Senate

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.