• GOP Watches in Horror as Stimulus Package Lurches to Life

    Time's running out for Republicans to go on TV and wring their hands over the economic stimulus plan: it's expected to squeak through a Senate vote early this week, then proceed to final negotiations with the House before collapsing, bloody and scarred, on President Obama's desk.

    Sen. Richard Shelby (R.-Ala.), would you like to open the whine this morning?

    Leading Republicans warned Sunday that the Obama administration's $800 billion-plus economic stimulus effort will lead to what one called a "financial disaster."

    "Everybody on the street in America understands that," said Sen. Richard Shelby, the ranking Republican on the Senate Banking Committee. "This is not the right road to go. We'll pay dearly."

    It will lead to a financial disaster, you see, because up until now the fundamentals of our economy have been — what's the word? Oh yes, strong. And that reminds me of somebody else

    "I know we're in trouble. I know America needs a stimulus. We need tax cuts. We need to spend money on infrastructure and on other programs that will immediately put people to work. But this is not it," Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) said on CBS's "Face the Nation."

    "You need to get it right. You don't want to spend these precious taxpayer dollars in the wrong way," Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) said on NBC's "Meet the Press."

    Heavens, no! Because every time a precious, precious taxpayer dollar is squandered on ballooning initiatives that don't directly improve the lives of hard-working Americans, a Republican sheds a tear.

    Which, by the way, is how John McCain filled his swimming pools. Three trillion Republican tears.

    Tags: Economy, Iraq, John Ensign, John McCain, Republicans, Richard Shelby, Senate, Stimulus


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.