I Wrote a Post About Congress and Primates Without Using the Phrase "Monkey Business"

I know you had your heart set on getting a western lowland gorilla for your birthday this year, but — in light of the recent chimpanzee attack –  I just don't think it's gonna happen…

The House overwhelmingly voted in favor of passing the Captive Primate Safety Act on Tuesday, which prohibits people from buying or transporting primates across state lines to keep as pets. This legislation amended the Lacey Act, which had only applied to wildlife and fish.

The Humane Society of the United States applauded the bill, which passed by a vote of 323 to 95.

"There is no reason for any private citizen to keep a primate as a pet, and this trade is driven by unscrupulous dealers who sell primates across state lines for thousands of dollars," said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of the HSUS.

You know who I feel the worst for in all this? Sean Hannity.

I'm sure he'll have to be turned out from the Fox News offices now.

He was making such progress.