• Andy Borowitz: White House Replaces "War on Terror" With Symbol

    As John reported last week, "terror" is now a thing of the past that we should never, ever, never have to mention again. So, of course, it'll need a new name

    The White House today announced today that it would no longer use the phrase "war on terror" and would instead replace it with a cryptic symbol once used by the funk rocker known as Prince.

    The new symbol made its first appearance today at a White House press conference in which spokesman Robert Gibbs answered a question about the war on terror by holding up a picture of the newly acquired icon…

    To acquire the rights to the symbol, however, the White House had to outbid an unlikely suitor, the insurance giant AIG… It was hoping to rebrand itself as "The Insurance Giant Formerly Known as AIG," a company spokesman said.

    I think that'll work out better for them in the end. I mean, they should have a name that doesn't sound anything like AIG. That's why AIU is perfect.

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    Tags: AIG, Andy Borowitz, Homeland Security, Terrorism


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