Many experts believe body language is more important than verbal communication. I would quote one of these experts to further validate my statement, but whenever questioned, most body language experts just shrug and give a thumb's up.
Whatever, the point is, President Obama is often photographed at various events, and we here at Indecision decided to analyze these images in order to truly understand our president and our nation's current state. First up is this image of President Obama confiding in Vice President Biden.
"You are a loyal Vice President and I respect you."
I bet you all thought I was going to comment on this image's seeming homoeroticism, but I assure you, this site is not immature to stoop to that level of grade-school joke-making… Sorry, hold on, I'm getting a call from my boss…
Nevermind. Scratch that. I've just been informed we are that immature.
Joe Biden: "What will people say?"
Barack Obama: "They'll say, 'Those two politicians are very much in love."
Please click after the jump to continue reading our intelligent and sober analysis and also fart jokes.
Here's Obama with DNC Chairman Tim Kaine. They seem friendly enough, but if you read into Obama's body language, you realize there's a very stern and direct message being delivered.
"I know you're the chairman of the DNC, Tim Kaine, but if you screw up, I will squeeze your testicles so hard, they'll call you the chairwoman of the DNC, ya dig?"
As the reporter mysteriously choked, Obama's body language secretly stated, "I find your lack of faith disturbing, Admiral."
"My fifth grade report card, ladies and gentlemen. Straight A's. Nothin' but net. Anyone still doubt me?"
"What do you mean they supermarket is out of Cap'n Crunch, Michelle?"
"God, I wish I could hold up another one of my fingers at these assholes."
"If you are President, raise your hand. If your hand isn't up, then please shut the fuck up. Thanks."
"How many times do I have to teach you guys how to play the slap hands game?"
"Mmm, my fingers still taste like Michelle."
I'm guessing the photographer who snapped this next picture was hoping it would become a grand symbol of Obama reaching out to the American people.
But everyone knew this was what Obama was subconsciously communicating…
I guess that all degraded to an infantile level of immaturity very quickly, huh? The worst part is I just wasted an opportunity to engage in intelligent discourse and analysis in order to treat our president like a stupid web meme.
Well, as long as the damage is done…
No need to thank me. I'm just doing the Lord's work.
Tags: Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Tim Kaine