• Everything – Including a Lack of Tolerance for Asian-Sounding Things – Is Bigger in Texas

    Confucius say: No good deed go unpunished. And Rep. Betty Borwin of the Texas House of Representatives is learning that the hard way.

    She's recently come under fire for revealing a brilliant plan of hers, designed to make life in general much easier for all the Chinamen streaming into our great country to build our railroads of late.

    Bruin's idea? Change their names to something "easier for Americans to deal with."

    Why, that's a stroke of brilliance, Rep. Burwone!

    "Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it's a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?" Brown said.

    I couldn't agree more, Rep. Burnow. Just speaking for myself, those crazy names are way to crazy for me to wrap my simple, little, non-scheming, Jesus-loving, salt-of-the-earth, eugenically-superior, Caucasian brain around…

    Brown later told [Oriental person Ramey] Ko: "Can't you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes that's easier for Americans to deal with?"

    Nice try, Rep. Bronte, but I'm sure that Ko's eyes are way too squinty for him to be able to see that you have his and all his exotic brethren from the Far East's best interest at heart.

    I didn't want to mention this, Rep. Birwaw — what with my office so close to the teeming throngs of near-do-wells in New York's Chinatown — but I feel like I have to: Your life might be in trouble. Some wizened old yellow man with a comically-long moustache is no doubt concocting some sort of karate-dragon-tiger potion to curse you with even as we speak.

    Run, Rep. Nibrwnow. Run!

    Update: That link doesn't appear to be working anymore. Try this one instead.


    Tags: Racism, Texas

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