• Meanest Judge Ever Ruins Our Chances to See Rod Blagojevich on Reality TeeVee

    Don't you just hate it when someone takes a beautiful, grandiose dream… and just fucking steps on it and smashes it into the dirt with his heel until it's just utterly destroyed.

    U.S. District Judge James Zagel just did that to me!

    A federal judge dashed indicted former Gov. Rod Blagojevich's reality TV dream Tuesday, refusing to give the ousted Democrat permission to travel to Costa Rica to tape a show in the jungle.

    Ugh! How could any god be so cruel as to dangle the prospect of a full season of triple-decker crazy on a desert island in front of my face and then just snatch it away? Can you even imagine the beautiful absurd soliloquies of nonsense with which he'd have showered us and his island-mates?

    U.S. District Judge James Zagel refused to modify terms of Blagojevich's bail to allow him to leave the United States, saying he needs to remain in the country to help his attorneys formulate a strategy for his defense…

    "I don't think this defendant fully understands and I don't think he could understand … the position he finds himself in," Zagel sat during Tuesday's the hearing.

    And I don't think you, U.S. District Judge James Zagel, fully understand which cowboy you just stole the horse you find yourself on when you wake up in the morning and sparkles of sunlight infect your mouth like an eclair of pure sadness.

    Think about it!


    Tags: Illinois, Rod Blagojevich

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.