• President Obama Warns America Not to Get Troubled by Troubling Swine Flu Epidemic

    President Obama wants the citizens of the United States to know that this Swine Flu — which, from what I gather from watching the news channels, has already claimed 900 bazillion U.S. lives (give or take a bazillion) — is nothing to worry about, even though it is somewhat worrying

    "We are closely monitoring the emerging cases of swine flu in the United States," Mr. Obama said, speaking at the National Academy of Sciences. "This is obviously the cause for concern and requires a heightened state of alert, but it's not a cause for alarm."

    Got that? Be alert, but don't be alarmed. I guess, the best way to differentiate between the two is like this:

    A squirrel, eating an acorn in the grass, is alert. A squirrel, screaming and clawing his way through a crowded subway terminal in a vain attempt to escape a horrifying pestilence, is alarmed.

    The remarks by Mr. Obama, which came at the beginning of a previously-scheduled speech that he delivered to scientists in Washington, marked the first time the president has personally addressed the swine flu.

    Fantastic! If he's not bowing down before the Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdel Aziz or shaking hands with Venezualan President Hugo Chavez, then he's entering into friendly negotiations with a potential worldwide pandemic.

    Doesn't he know that you have to play tough with these pathogenic agents? You didn't see George Bush cozying up to monkeypox back in his first term, did you?


    Tags: Abdullah bin Abdel Aziz, Barack Obama, George W. Bush, Health, Hugo Chavez, Saudi Arabia, Swine Flu, Venezuela

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.