• Joe Biden Attempts to Calm Public by Freaking Everyone Out

    Was2103205Vice Presidents are great for providing balance in an administration. For example, Barack Obama has spent this week successfully reassuring the country that there's no need to panic over swine flu. And just so the message from The White House doesn't appear too one-sided, VP Joe Biden went on TV today and basically told all Americans to hide out alone in the forest and live off their own urine until further notice.

    “I would tell members of my family — and I have — I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now,” Biden said on NBC’s “Today” show.. “It’s not that it’s going to Mexico. It’s [that] you’re in a confined aircraft. When one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. …

    “So, from my perspective, what it relates to is mitigation. If you’re out in the middle of a field when someone sneezes, that’s one thing. If you’re in a closed aircraft or closed container or closed car or closed classroom, it’s a different thing.”

    As one might expect, the idea of crippling the airlines and subways didn't go over very well with Biden's handlers, so a "clarifying" statement was quickly released. I don't know, something about it being opposite day.

    So, no need for alarm. As long as we don't fly to Mexico, we can all feel free to resume riding the subway and sneezing in each other's mouths.


    Tags: Joe Biden, Politico, Swine Flu, Today Show

comments

About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.