Heroic Plumber Admits "Strange and Unusual" Gays Are, In Fact, People

You'll never ever in a million years guess which plumber said this…

At a state level, it's up to them. I don't want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it's wrong. People don't understand the dictionary — it's called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It's not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that.

You know, God is pretty explicit in what we're supposed to do — what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we're supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins.

I've had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn't have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they're people, and they're going to do their thing.

Wow! That must be the most noble plumber in the whole world!

Even though these anonymous, not-at-all-invented homosexual queer friends (probably no-good honkies as well) are way to gay-toxic to allow near his pure-as-snow children, he's still a swell enough guy to allow them to be referred to as "friends" during PR-stunt interviews.

Find out the identity of the magnanimous mystery plumber here.