• The Bad News: Zombies, Evil Corporations and Everyone's Still Broke

    Troops Denied Water By Cheney Spawn:
    Did you know that you can buy a $1200 dollar watch in a combat zone? Also: did you know that US soldiers had to steal water from war profiteers? CBS reports that our boys and girls "over there" are very thirsty, and at the mercy of corporations that will, one day in the far-flung future, use human beings to smuggle murderous, chest-bursting aliens back to Earth inside of them. There is a documentary about this very thing. [cbsnews.com]

    Economy Still Sucks, Move Along: Fewer Americans stopped by food court and inhaled cinnamon buns in April, the second month in a row that consumer spending has dropped. This portends poorly for a economic recovery, and even less so for economists charged with fixing the economy, most of whom have a vested interest in telling everyone that everything is going to be ducky, toot de suite. [yahoo.com]

    Nobody Told Scientists Not To Create Zombies: This just can't end well. Scientists in Texas tasked with finding a way to eradicate fire ants have developed a way to turn these pests into… zombies. That's right: parasitic flies plant eggs in the brains of the ants, and then the ants wander away until their heads fall off. Amazing. Give it a decade, and this is how the US military will deal with terrorists. [chron.com]

    Credit Card Companies Maxed Out: If you thought the collapse of America's powerful, and storied financial institutions was a good time, just wait until the credit card companies start to buckle under the weight of their debts. A major lender is shutting down credit to small businesses, who use credit for payroll and expenses while waiting out invoices. What does this mean to you? It means you might have to sell blood or just steal your second or third plasma tv. [bloomberg.com]

    Tags: Dick Cheney, Economy, Great News/Bad News, Halliburton, Iraq


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.