• The Bad News: Denture Theft, Gun Safety Absurdity and More Cheney


    Tooth Fairy Meet Tooth Robber: It's tough economic times for those with a history of poor dental hygiene. In fact, it drove one man to hold another man up at gunpoint and demand his dentures! The story is more complex than that, of course, as such stories frequently are. That's what's terrible about these times, you can't have a simple denture-stealing story anymore. Use to be, the story was "Man Robs Man For Teeth." But now… there's all this nuance. [nbcnewyork.com]

    Persians Pursue Revenge Against Spawn of Sparta: Everyone is freaking out over Iran testing a long range missile that could hit Israel and US bases in the region. Everyone should chill out. Iran has a missile, and is on it's way towards developing a nuke. So what? Israel has like, dozens of nukes and superior missile technology, and if Iran tries to attack then… oh right. The Apocalypse. Curses. [breitbart.com]

    Dick Cheney And The Death Squads: Some guy who writes for something called "The New Yorker," alleges that then-Vice President Dick Cheney had Pakistani Presidential candidate Benazir Bhutto whacked by a "death squad" because she was revealing that Osama Bin Laden was dead. The US has death squads? Bin Laden is dead? Dick Cheney is a gangster? Look at my head! It's twirling! Wheee! [yahoo.com]

    Cruel, Cruel Irony: A pair of Phoenix residents were taught a profound lesson about gun safety, when a friend of them offered to teach them how to properly, and safely, handle a firearm. Then he accidentally killed himself with a gun. What have we learned from this story? First, when making sure your 9mm is unloaded, really make sure it's unloaded. And even if it's unloaded, don't put it to your head. Hey, even if you do, don't pull the trigger. Okay? This man has not died in vain. [azstarnet.com]

    Tags: Dick Cheney, Guns, Iran, Israel, The Bad News


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.