• The Most Geniusest Conservative Christian Political Cartoons in the 6,000 Year History of the Universe

    I just stumbled upon the greatest collection of right wing, Evangelical Christian political cartoons ever. Oh my god! I feel like Sean Astin when he and Forrest Gump found One-Eyed Willy's copy of the Declaration of Independence in the Illuminati's big volcano at the center of the Vatican!

    I have no idea what point this cartoon is trying to make, but I am one hundred percent certain that the cartoonist knew that he fuckin' nailed it!

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    I almost understand what this means. Almost. Though, I would imagine that the Tribulation Force would have more effective projectiles to use against the Antichrist than paper bills. Unless they're counting on massive paper cuts, wouldn't it be more effective to get them changed to pennies or quarters? Something that would at least leave a bump.

    As it stands now, the Antichrist is just gonna pick up that money and use it to buy himself some Rogaine.

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    Trick question. They're both immoral activities. The guy on the left is preparing to drive his Humvee home in time to watch Rachel Maddow.

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    I gather — given the font used for the Bible verse/explanation of the little boy's Zen koan — that this cartoon is telling us that the Bible predicted the Internet and that it's a sign of the End Times. I wasn't sold on this until I went online and found the actually passage being referenced

    "But as for you, Daniel, conceal these words and seal up the book until the end of time; many will go back and forth, and knowledge will increase."

    Well, it doesn't get any clearer than that. What else could Bronze Age nomadic people have meant by "and knowledge will increase." Obviously, it's the Internet. Don't even bother embarrassing yourself by attempting an alternate explanation. You'll just make yourself look like an idiot.

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    Ha, look at that! Somebody hooked up the Lord's throne to an electrical socket. (See the lightning bolts?) So, when He sat down, He got a shock. Hilarious! Oh, those wacky angels finally got back at him for that asexuality prank he pulled on them.

    Aw, man! Heaven sure is gonna be a wild place! I don't know about you, but when I die, I'm bringin' my Whoopie Bible.

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    Hey, you little flying Nancy Pelosi imp who lives inside conservative people's dreams! Get out of here! Go on, shoo!

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    Hahahahahahaha! I get it! Those Conservative Christian people were so focused on trying to control the way all the rest of us live our lives that they forgot to buy houses or coats or hats. Homeless people are funny!

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    You can try to keep your thoughts focused on a big ball of spaghetti all you like, Al Gore. But that won't stop the Lord Almighty from smiting you with manageable drifts of frozen precipitation.

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    No, don't open that door, Obama! There's some new gaseous form of Islamic Fundamentalism behind there! You're gonna let all the fatwa vapors in! Nooooooo!!!

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    Oh! This cartoon explains everything! I was wondering why those people from several milennia ago who were completely caught up in inter-tribal warfare didn't take the time to give clear directives concerning whether or not homosexual people in a hemisphere that they didn't yet know existed should be allowed to get married.

    And here I was thinking it was because they didn't care.


    Tags: ACLU, Al Gore, Antichrist, Barack Obama, Christianity, Climate Change, Fox, Islam, Nancy Pelosi, Religion, Sean Hannity, Terrorism

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