• Will the Antichrist Be a Gay Homosexual? (Extra Credit Question: Does the Bible Predict Jet Skis?*)

    Okay. This whole gay marriage thing makes a whole lot more sense now.

    I thought it was weird that Christians were so concerned about whether or not complete strangers were allowed to do with one another. I mean, really, why would people devoted to spending all their available time acting Christ-like and worshiping the King of Kings even want to get mixed up in all that. Because, really, it would be a huge distraction from praying, ya know?

    But it turns out there's a fantastic explanation! They don't want the Antichrist to be allowed to get married!

    But will the Antichrist be a homosexual? Having seen what the Bible says of sodomy, we have no further to look than the book of Daniel, chapter 11 to find our answer.

    It says, "Neither shall he [Antichrist] regard… the desire of women…." As I said at the onset, I am not the first to draw attention to this, but the verbiage is clear.

    Oh, yeah! That verbiage is crystal clear. Even with all those ellipses in there kind of getting in the way of the original context, it's pretty much the clearest verbiage I have ever not been able to see — due to its crystal clear clarity — ever.

    That [Biblical interpretation]… is… completely not… idiotic….

    But, now we just need to explain why the Christians are so intent on keeping the Antichrist from getting married. And I think most of us — if we're really being honest with ourselves — know exactly what kind of person would dedicate his life to bringing about the End of Days.**

    .

    * Yeah, probably somewhere in there. It's a big book.

    ** Hint: It's not gonna be someone who's allowed to go out with his friends more than once every two weeks.


    Tags: Antichrist, Christianity, LGBT, Marriage Equality, Religion

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