• Guns Don't Kill People, Terrorists Kill People (Also, Terrorists Have Our Guns)

    If you've got one of those "Terrorists Love Gun Control" bumper stickers on your car/truck/gun cabinet, you may want to add this addendum: "America! Now Offering A Wide Variety of Firearms and Explosives for All Your Terrorist Needs."

    Hey, the Second Amendment doesn't say it excludes anyone

    People named on the government's terrorism watch list have successfully purchased firearms hundreds of times since 2004, government investigators reported yesterday. In one case, a known or suspected terrorist was able to obtain an explosives license, the Government Accountability Office reported. [...]

    The study found that people on the list purchased firearms 865 times in 963 attempts over a five-year period ending in February.

    Whoa. How will the NRA spin its way out of this one? Remember, the first rule of the gun club is "fight gun control." The second rule of the gun club is "fight terrorism." (The third rule of the gun club is "Toby Keith singalong.")

    Oh, of course. People on a terrorist watch list buying guns is a problem, but you have to compare that to the problem of the terrorist watch list itself…

    The National Rifle Association cited a Justice Department inspector general's report in March that found that about 24,000 of 400,000 people on the list — or about 6 percent — were named based on outdated or irrelevant information in FBI files, sometimes after their cases had been closed.

    "Law-abiding Americans should not be treated like terrorists," [NRA lobbyist Chris] Cox said in a written statement.

    Good point, Chris! I like the way this man thinks. Hey, you know, one time a restaurant charged me for something I hadn't ordered, and I didn't notice the mistake until I got home.

    I'm pretty sure that means we should abolish the monetary system.

    Tags: Guns, NRA, Terrorism


About Us

Comedy Central's Indecision is the network's digital hub for news, politics and other jokes: we're here, we're everywhere. We're not affiliated with any television show. We're affiliated with ourselves.